I'm here again in my room thinking. . . what could I possibly have done better today? Nothing! Just thinking of him again! He just called and I miss him. Gosh, I couldn't even tell him that! Well, I'll have the nerve one day! I'll tell him exactly how I feel!
Should I show him my blog one day? What would he think after? Well, he's very special to me now. I would like to tell him that too, one day! I did mentioned to him about my journal. \"I have a blog and post my most intimate thoughts on it! Guess what I named it - drenched in VODKA!\" I said. He went, \"Cool! Do you write about me?\" he asked. Well, I was really surprised that he would even ask me that. I told him, \"of course, I do!\" Then he asked, \" well, can I see it?\" I was like, \"No, not yet! You're going to have to earn it first!\" He went, \"Oh! Okay!\" I didn't mean it in a wrong way. What I was trying to say is that we should wait until the right time comes, and until I'm comfortable enough to let him read my thoughts. You see, we never spoke of the \"Love\" word. Therefore, we haven't opened up that much about how we feel towards each other. I don't know, maybe we're both waiting to see who would say it first. Maybe we're both shy to say it anyway. Or more likely I'm the only one feeling this way. But then if he sees this writing, then he would know how I really feel about him. He'll probably laugh so hard when he finds out. I'm still kind of shy for him to find out now. If he continues to show more of his feelings towards me, then I would give him this blog of mine.
When you read this baby, I hope you would understand why I have to do this. I needed an outlet to vent this crazy feelings I have for you that I never had the guts to tell you in the beginning. Now, you know at least this much . . . I love you!!!
created: @1650 sunday, february 20, 2005
Tags: diary, love, loversfriends, secret.
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